Feedback Strategies For Those Who Hate Giving It

One thing that I struggle with when giving feedback is that I hate giving it. I don't want to come off too strong and sound rude, but I also want to be able to give feedback that will be constructive and helpful. 

The first article that I decided to read was called How to Give Bad Feedback Without Being a Jerk.  This was a helpful article because it was exactly what I wanted to avoid. Some of the problems that it addressed were that addressing positives often fell on deaf ears, and if one manages to give people positive feedback before the negative, a listener may sometimes ignore the negative. So instead of giving a compliment sandwich like many people have recommended, they gave some other useful advice. Some of the notes that I thought were the most helpful were to explain why you're giving the feedback and ask if the person wants feedback. This helps them understand that you're not just trying to criticize them, and if they don't want your help, you don't have to give it all. Although, it's unlikely people will say no to feedback. 

The other article that I decided to read was called The Difference Between Praise and Feedback. I was intrigued by this title because while I knew the difference, I realized it isn't as always clear cut as one might think. This article talked about Growth Mindest a bit, which I liked since we had read some on that in the past few weeks. It said that it's good to praise people by saying "you must have worked hard on this painting" versus "you are very good at painting" to help give the impression that someone can always get better. This applies more to strangers, as parents' praise helps children be more willing to take on challenges in the future. The article did go onto say that overpraising can actually have negative effects, and instead, people should be more appreciative and ask questions. This helps children adapt to both negative and positive feedback, and not be as sensitive to criticism. 

Feedback for Children