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  1. Hey Rylie! I just read your introduction and it was very entertaining! I love the idea of putting the goddess Kali into the modern day world. I also love how you gave her a sense of omnipresence, with Kali not only having different versions of herself, but her traveling to different time periods. This kind of stuff is really mystical and I love it being inserted in stories. I think you did a good job getting the audience familiar with the different forms of Kali, and I am interested to see how each persona differs from the other. I also am wondering if you will expand on Kali meeting historical figures in your story. I would really love to see something like that play out! Perhaps you could have Durga be involved in a real battle, and interact with a real famous general.

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  2. Hi Rylie! I really enjoyed the way you formatted everything in your introduction! The split in the paragraphs made it appealing to the eye of the reader. I also love the way that you portray Kali as being almost universal and how Kali can take a variety of different forms whether it be through a sunset as a spirit or a living being that we can encounter. It is really interesting how the personalities are separated and brings an aspect of ambiguity to the entire story of Kali. I think it could be really cool if you incorporate Kali being personified by several different beings, maybe something even as simple as a chair haha! Kali could also have encounters from people/things of different time periods which I also found super creative. It brings a mystic and time travel feel to it all. I am definitely looking forward to reading about how the story of Kali plays out and I wish you the best of luck!

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  3. Hi Rylie, although I have not read about the goddess Kali yet, I feel like I know everything I need to, in order to understand the stories that follow in the future. I realize that Kali has multiple identities. When characters appear in different forms throughout various stories, I have personally found it to be confusing, so I suggest clarifying or separating each character form per story. I think it would be interesting if at some point you combine each form into one story (maybe the last story). This way, the reader can piece together each characteristic that she radiates and integrate their personal opinion of each of her phases through your creative writing. In general, I like the layout and theme that you have going on. As we inch deeper into the semester, I think you should include each element of the goddess Kali's life by using illustrations, either throughout the story itself or as the background photo. I always like having a visual of who I am reading about to help me remember the story.

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  4. Rylie, I really enjoyed reading through your storybook and am very much looking forward to reading more about the three personalities of Kali. With this selection of characters I think you will have so much to write about and explore! I am curious as to what time periods Kali visited and what characters she interacted with in each time period! Does the goddess of war, Durga, make a visit to wars that I would be familiar with? There are some rally great stories to explore with your versions of Kali and I like how you chose to focus on her adventures in the modern world. This approach really brings a character like Kali from old text and epics to modern day life for your readers! The different personalities of Kila also show how complex her being truly is as the personalities are so juxtaposed! I wish you the best as you. begin sharing the epic tales of Kila and I look forward to reading all about them!

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  5. Hey Rylie!

    I definitely enjoyed reading through your story book. I like the way your introduction gives the reader a thorough, but not too detailed, introduction. I like how you emphasize significantly on Kali's different personalities that brings about different attributes. I also found the ending of your introduction very clever. As a reader of your story book, I feel like you prepared the audience well enough with your introduction. The first story, Durga, was a great read. Your detailed writing gives the setting of the story an extra boost. I like how you were able to incorporate Durga's daily life, and how that specific day was different compared to others. In other words, the build up towards the firing shots and sounds was perfect. The story really took a turn whenever the conversation between Durga and the nurse was interrupted with warfare. I look forward to reading the rest of your story book soon.

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  6. Hi Rylie,
    You are such a talented writer! I was blown away with how smoothly your story read. It felt like reading a published work. I was really impressed with your introduction page. It gave the reader all of the information and context needed to understand where the story was coming from, and it also gave a little extra insight to help flesh out the story! I honestly read through it twice to try to find something that I think needs improvement, but I really love everything about your story. the dialogue is great, you provide adequate details to be able to picture the scenes, and the characters are given some personality! I think if anything, it could help to give a few more examples or scenarios to show characteristics of the war or characters' qualities instead of describing them. But great work overall!
    Sincerely,
    Rachel

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  7. Hi Rylie! First of all, I really enjoyed the banner picture in the back of your home page. It has amazing colors and also drew my interest as the man is holding a head that appears to be freshly removed from another man. You may be one of the most composed writers that I have read a story from this far in the semester. Your writing flows in a very elegant way. I love that you are focusing on the three forms of the goddess Kali. Your introduction set up your storybook just perfectly. Your first story, "Durga," absolutely blew me away. Your attention to detail in the inclusion of her enemy Mahishasura was drafted perfectly. I feel like nurses have always been predominantly women, so learning about Mahishasura's perceived superiority to women as Durga was a nurse in the story was brilliant. I also like how you managed to include the Buffalo Brigade in the story. You included a tremendous amount of detail from many different sources in a way that they just melted together into a perfectly drafted story. I think you are doing amazing so far on your storybook and look forward to reading your final two additions to this project. Wonderful job!

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  8. Hey Rylie!
    Great job and I love the concept of introducing Goddess Kali into the modern world. Your writing makes this and easy and informative read. I love that you included the story of Mahishasura, as it sums up the story of Durga perfectly. You portrayed the complexities of Durga, alongside showing her daily life. I'm looking forward to read more from you !

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